“It’s Flower falls, and beauty perishes.”

James 1:9-11

It really does all pass.

This too…

…and that…

…even these…

I don’t cling to God during these less-than-ideal seasons of life because I want to.

I need to.

and to cling to God, in simple terms, is to keep the mind on Him and to remember (and remember and remember and repeat) His Truth in your head until it trickles down and stains the heart and everything in you.

My prayer isn’t that this will pass.

I refused the habit of hurry when I was crowned with joy and bliss–why adopt it now when i wear my own thorn-like head dress and face my own kind of rejection and disappointments?

My prayer is that I will grow always and everywhere and to be real always and everywhere and fully enter each season, emotionally, physically, spirtually, and live here and now and not wish away my life for something I might think I need or want.

The last years of my life were precious, but isn’t all life precious?  Isn’t all existence on this earth a miracle and wouldn’t you be so sad to be there, there at the very end of it all, the very last inhalation of this dust and wind and see nothing in your past but a blurr of hurried nothings?

Of empty gain, futile achievements, dusty trophies cracked and shattered, riches, status, beauty, all of it—the slime we’re addicted to and run to for comfort, to hide—is that what you want your legacy to be?

Where is God’s heart : and I read it here in Matthew 7:

 

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Those verse shook my very soul. I was 16 I think, maybe almost 17. I read the words fast, then stopped breathing, then again slow and was stunned: All these years of “being a Christian” and having grown up in a (as they say) “Christian home” and I was hearing for His very lips: You don’t know Me.

Here it is, His heart, His will, all dwindled down into the simplest terms:

Love Him and others. Relationships.

Matthew 22:36-40

And so the chasing had to stop and the aimless spinning and wanting and cravings for fame and beauty and romance (the things I thought would give me worth and a purpose) began to die because I could spend my whole life running in circles and “doing” the apparent right things, but then meet Him there once its all over and receive the most unfathomably devastating rejection any human being will ever, ever receive. (will there be tears in His eyes before mine?)

He wants intimacy with us. His heart is that my heart and His heart become one heart and I go beating his Truth (in love) throughout my entire life. Wherever, whenever. Even now! Here!

Undivided and focused on seeking Him first (Matthew 6! Luke 12! <3).

John knows it too:

“15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” 1 John 2:15-17H

Here again, life is fragile and fleeting:

“14 For he knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more. ” Psalm 103:14-16

“3 O Lord, what is man that you regard him,
    or the son of man that you think of him?
Man is like a breath;
    his days are like a passing shadow.” Palm 144:3-4

“…14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” James 4:14

“For we are but of yesterday and know nothing,
    for our days on earth are a shadow.” Job 8:9


It all will pass.

And before you know it, your time is ending here and you’ve missed your chance to encounter your purpose. Maybe you did well at work and at the gym and were beautiful and popular in your youth, but what relationships did you foster? Who’s heart did your life mirror? I’m not saying always and perfect, but I am asking, what is the nature  of your heart and actions and desires?

Over and over again I read, more than these few Words I’ve shared, that life on earth ends for all humans.

Don’t miss Him here. Don’t miss Him at all! Don’t rush past blind to the wonder of life and beauty that can be yours if you only still although to know. (Psalm 46:10)

And to rush through any circumstances we’re given (whether a season of romantic bliss or demolishing confusion and hurt, or life’s signature mundane routines-ness), hurrying through life will result in fatal emptiness. And chronic void.

What I mean is there is something bigger than your life here and now and your desires and your dreams and your broken smothered bruised up heart. There is more to your breathing and beating bag of bones than the marathons you (Literally and hypatetically) run or the people you impress or the music you write or the polished performance of a perfect-on-the-outside-but-are-totally-atrophying-on-the-inside (Matthew 23:27).

God sees you straight through naked and bare anyway.

Any deception is ultimately self deception and you’ll grow little if at all as long as you’er not willing to be cut opened and honest with yourself and God.

Once you see where you are, who you are, to Whom you belong, Then you grow from there. even the lowest of the lows, it doesn’t matter. You’ll shoot up soaring if you’re true—repent, if you Trust and obey. Not grieving the Spirit, but walking humbly with Him (Micah 6:8). Mysterious, supernatural obedience, supernatural life (Ephesians 2:1-10) to the Word, yielding life walking consistent progress, not perfection.

In my flesh, i want to run and run long and run far and run fast and furiously and forever away from here and now. From the hurt of now and the fear of tomorrow(s).

But in my spirit, I know it is good to wait (Lamentations 3:25-26). And I am strong when I wait (Psalm 27). And fear is futile and helps the enemy further wreck me (Psalm 37:8!).

And to be quiet and honest and still is actually moving forward in leaps and bounds while worry and fear and denial keeps you running wild in circles.

Enjoy now. Wherever you are, be all there and bloom with what you have wherever you are. There is always another story, someone else’s life or circumstances, which will be “better” or “worse” than yours. Thank God for Yours, and keep moving forward.

One step at a time.

“Hurried life empties the soul.”

You get to choose what  lay in your wake. And on that day, there will be things (for me lots of things) I know I’ll refuse or regret, but right now  can be a new point from where I move forward and honor God with my attitude primarily, then let the goodness of Him in me infect my behavior and actions and conduct and life will pass whether I’m happy or sad or in love or in sorrow or in hope or despair.

I choose the one with the side affect of joy—the gratitude life.

The rich life.

“My son, keep my words
    and treasure up my commandments with you;
keep my commandments and live;
    keep my teaching as the apple of your eye;
bind them on your fingers;
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
    and call insight your intimate friend,
to keep you from the forbidden woman,
    from the adulteress with her smooth words.” Proverbs 7:1-5

 

“7 The law of the Lord is perfect,
    reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
    making wise the simple;
the precepts of the Lord are right,
    rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the Lord is pure,
    enlightening the eyes;
the fear of the Lord is clean,
    enduring forever;
the rules of the Lord are true,
    and righteous altogether.
10 More to be desired are they than gold,
    even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey
    and drippings of the honeycomb.
11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
    in keeping them there is great reward.” Psalm 19:7-11

 

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