Jenny is the most delightful person to be around. Besides her impecable comedic timing, and the hilarity that oozes from every fiber of her being, she is a pure treasure and beautiful joy in my life.
We had the thrilling pleasure of ‘exploring’ the woods we behind our house today. A forest we both know like that back of our hands, a ‘town’ we all built and lived in. A castle, a Bakery, a watering hole. A perfect hiding place. We followed our old beaten paths to all of the ‘best’ places in town, passing old mossy rocks and decaying trees that were once the great landmarks of out wonderful city. We followed the ‘river’ like we used to. We went to our old huts and forts we labored so intensely over, trying to make it beautiful with mossy carpets and scrap wood furniture. As we tumbled through the woods today, I got lost in a vision of time that has passed; A very familiar scene, there I was in a blue fleece and Jenny in sage green. Just like before, just like when I had no responsibilities, just like when I had hours and hours to waste, and every second of those hours I spent in the woods. My heart bled a little bit. My heart yearned for the old days. The old days. And Jenny, in all of her spirit and adventure, was there with me, like in the old days. It scares me to think that I could one day forget the richness of my childhood. I didn’t see it then. I didn’t see the treasure. I didn’t see the gold glaring in my eye as I watched the sun rise and set every day. I’d give anything in the whole world to be 10 again. Freckled and frizzy. Jeans always ripped, shirts always stained (well, some things don’t ever change). I feel very unrealistic and childish cleaving to my lost days of innocence as I do. Without the memories, somehow I feel empty. I know Christ is sufficient I stand firmly in Him. Thats not the emptiness I’m talking about. Even a few years after the ‘glory days’, I had dance. I have a hobby, intrest, a real passion. I just feel dry now. I have been going through an emotional drought. I’ve been dry for three years and man, it was wonderful to go back and visit my old ‘home’. But today I’m here, stress of work tomorrow already daunting me and I haven’t even finished today. There is something lacking in my life. I think I need to start by pouring my light into my siblings. They struggle with the same heartache of growing up as I did/do. I need to be there for them. Honestly, I can’t promise to be encouraging or promise any greatness, but at least I can mourn with them. (John 11:35)
Photo: (L) Me, 10 (R) Jenny, 8.